So long 2017 ... Hello 2018

I can be my own very worst critic.

Oh, I acknowledge that I do some really good things almost daily ... for other people. But I fail miserably at doing things - for me - that really should be done.  I'm a 5 Star Procrastinator, and that's an award no one should ever aspire to receive.

But things are looking up!  I finally started tackling tasks that have needed to be done for a long while. And it feels pretty darn good. 

My old 2003 CRV had been telling me for awhile that it was time to trade it in, as one thing after another kept needing repair. But I was so fearful of having to buy a new car *all by myself* that I kept putting it off.  That was silly, I know. Gosh, all I have to do is recall the hundreds of really big things I did while Vern was sick to know I can do the hard stuff *all by myself*.

So one day I just did it and it wasn't so bad after all!  I love my new car, and as a bit of serendipity, I sold Vern's 2003 Mustang ... to the salesman who sold me my new car!  That action got me going on other things ... cleaning out cupboards and closets, organizing, decluttering.

So now it's the beginning of a brand new year and time for me to select my 'word' for the year. I don't think I did one for 2017 - at least I can't find any reference to it. But 2017 was quite a year: 

• Started up my little Tending Your Heart and Soul business, holding two Soul Restoration retreats in Folly Beach, SC and one here in Las Vegas, and three SoulBook Gatherings locally. 
• Attended Camp Widows in Tampa, San Diego and Toronto as the volunteer coordinator.  
• Traveled to Boise for the Brave Girl Symposium followed by a trip to California to meet up with some other certified instructors. 
• Made my first ever trip to Texas for the dedication of the Soaring Spirits Resilience Center at Schreiner University, where Vern's name is displayed as one of the founding donors. 
• Had an unexpected trip to Maui with Jer over Thanksgiving (thanks to a a friend of his offering us free rooms at his timeshare).

And that was just the travel!   

My heart is very dedicated to the widowed community, so I spend time daily volunteering in Widowed Village and with our regional social groups. I also managed to squeeze in some time to visit The Smith Center for their wonderful Broadway series, to catch shows by my favorite local singer Frankie Moreno, and to have breakfasts/lunches with friends.  

No wonder my house is a mess!  

It was a full and satisfying year, but admittedly far busier than I expected - or wanted - to be in retirement.  I learned a lot about what I like to do and what I don't like to do ... and where my heart is drawn to put my energy and resources.  Especially at age 66.  And I also realized that I desperately need to dedicate some time to ME.

So my word for 2018 is ...

renew

1: to make like new : restore to freshness, vigor, or perfection 

2: to make new spiritually : regenerate

3  a : to restore to existence : revive

    b : to make extensive changes in : rebuild

4: to do again : repeat

5: to begin again : resume

6: replace, replenish 

I can't continue spending like I did last year if I expect to live comfortably into my 90s. And since I learned that I really do not like the 'business' side of soul work - the charging fees, the marketing, getting people to sign up - I've decided to not hold any retreats this year. I lost a considerable amount of money because my fees didn't come close to covering retreat costs and I don't think I can change that part of me. I will always want to do more, give more, to those who need these lessons. So I've scratched retreats off my list for this year. I'm hoping to be able to continue offering the free local gatherings. I have lots of artsy 'stuff' to share and feel it's so important to do creative things with our hands while we get to know other like-minded people. So stay tuned on that.

But for now ... let the self-care work begin.