I was checking emails this morning when the tears started. Of all things, it was one of those local ads where you can get something at a greatly discounted price on that day only. What were they advertising? It was an old-fashioned straight razor shave with the hot towel and all. This was something Vern had wanted to try and I never got him over there. Regrets ... oh boy, what a tear trigger. In the midst of this meltdown I realized that today was the 22nd. Six months ...
The tears continued on the drive into work. Seemed like every song that came on the radio had a memory attached to it. Why didn't I just take the day off? But I knew that wouldn't have solved anything. I don't do well on those 'days off' days. So I wiped away the tears in the parking lot and headed into the office.
As I mentioned in a previous post, a friend had suggested that I think of the 22nd of each month as a Memory Day by pulling out an old photo of when we were young and healthy. So that's what I did before heading off to work (and that's the photo above). This photo was taken at Vern's parent's home during the summer of 1969. We drove to Sandusky, Ohio to tell them we were engaged and I can remember how very nervous I was. All seemed to go quite well during the visit, but as we headed out to the car to leave Vern's mom shared her true feelings. "She's so young." "This is so quick." "Why don't you wait awhile?" I remember fighting back tears as Vern assured his mom that we loved each other, we didn't want to wait, we wouldn't wait. And his dad actually spoke up to support us. A really nice memory that did help me throughout the day.
It's Nevada Reading Week and I had volunteered to read a book to a first-grade class this afternoon. The way I felt this morning, I was wishing I hadn't agreed to do this - but it ended up being a feel-good moment. I enjoyed reading to the youngsters and especially enjoyed the hugs I received. It was a really special time.
I received some wonderful Facebook posts today - and a very special email from a friend I met a few years ago on NPR's "My Cancer". Michael said exactly what I needed to hear today.
I did an anonymous 'random act of kindness' at work today that made me feel very good and I had my yoga class tonight. So there were some high points in this day after all.
I guess that's what healing is all about. Let the tears flow when they need to and yet enjoy those unexpected special moments that come along throughout the day.
I did just that over the weekend when I went to the Run Away with the Cirque du Soleil at the Springs Preserve. It was cold and very windy, but what a fun time I had with those Cirque characters.