I said yes ....

It's been a really busy six weeks since I last wrote a blog post ... a lot has happened:

• Was interviewed outside the Vegas Golden Knights practice arena and ended up with an online article about me and my love for the Knights. https://lvsportsbiz.com/2018/04/09/the-accidental-golden-knights-fan-i-did-not-see-this-coming/
• Went to the two home games we played in Round 1 of the Stanley Cup playoffs. We ended up sweeping the LA Kings 4-0.
• Attended three of my local widow group meets.
• Held my 7th SoulBook Gathering in Summerlin.
• Attended the Justin Timberlake Concert at T-Mobile.
• Went to a surprise birthday party where I knew no one except the birthday gal.
• Enjoyed lunch with a new Canadian friend I met at the Tampa Camp Widow who was visiting Vegas.
• Traveled to Seattle for a beautiful wedding of a widow friend.
• Attended two of the home Golden Knights games in Round 2; we took the series by beating the San Jose Sharks 4-2.
• Spent six days at the Whatever Craft House in Newton, Kansas with 10 lovely friends.
• My story about why I love the Golden Knights was on our local CBS news station in their Our Team - Our Town segment.  https://www.facebook.com/8NewsNOW/posts/10156326758056303
• Saw Frankie Moreno's show at Cabaret Jazz at The Smith Center
• Attended the first home game against the Winnipeg Jets for the Western Conference Final tonight - we won!

Wow ... no wonder I've been so tired.  But that's not what I need to write about tonight. This has been on my mind all afternoon since I said 'yes' and I'm still wound up from our hockey game and not nearly ready to head to bed so figured I might as well write about it.

If you're a follower of my blog, you know that I had a rough January and February ... I developed some feelings that surprised me. A particular person sparked them ... someone who is not interested nor available ... but it forced me to really think about this dating thing. I waffled back and forth and I eventually took Vern's wedding band off to see how it felt. But then I said no when a friend wanted to introduce me to someone. That conversation helped me to realize that I don't want to date ... it's just not worth the effort nor the potential damage to my ego.

Fast forward to last night. I ended up having to go alone to the Frankie Moreno show. I really enjoyed those 90 minutes but the pity party was surfacing on the way there and was worse on the way back home. I was fine with being alone for 7+ years and yet now it's hard. Sometimes. Why?

And then today my friend contacted me again. This time she wanted to invite me to join her and her friend for drinks ... on my birthday evening. And I didn't say no automatically. I'm not entirely sure why. Perhaps it was because I just didn't want to spend my birthday alone. Perhaps it was because of the soul card I drew this morning.

So she kept talking and I eventually said yes. And I'm scared to death. Silly, I know. She'll be there. It's only drinks at 7. We'll just be talking. I talk to new people all the time. I want to cancel. But I won't.