Friday, October 1, 2010

Vern is home

I picked up Vern's ashes today. I didn't know what to expect or how I would feel about this. Staff was very busy at Palm Mortuary today, so I had to wait for a bit. There were a couple of visitations going on, plus they're gearing up for Tony Curtis' funeral on Monday (which is open to the public). David, the Palm Mortuary director who handled our arrangements, took me back into his office where I had to show my drivers license and sign some papers. We verified it was the correct urn and he placed it inside a carrying bag along with the death certificates. David carried it all out to the car for me and gave me a hug before he left.

Even though I was apprehensive about doing this, it was important to me to bring Vern home. And I must admit that I smiled just a bit that he was "sitting" in the front passenger seat. Vern had been using a wheelchair for the last few months and I had kept telling him I wanted to get him strong enough so he could sit in the front seat of my car facing forward (our wheelchair van had him sitting sideways). I was surprised at how heavy the urn is.

I plan to return to Hana, Maui someday and will leave a bit of his ashes there. That was such a special vacation spot for us in 2003. We were both pretty fit that year, and were able to do a lot of hiking to see all of the waterfalls. We had a return trip planned for June 2006, but Vern's MM diagnosis arrived in May of that year so the trip was cancelled.

The flowers I brought home after the funeral have mostly died, so I'm clearing them out. The house is a wreck. I lived at the hospital and then at hospice since I called the paramedics on Sept. 14 and I just haven't had the energy to address anything until today. I still have to take down the hospital bed, call the company to pick up the oxygen equipment and clear out all of the medical supplies. Hoping I can find someplace that will accept some of these things as a donation for those who can't afford them. I'm not in a rush to do any of this as I'm a bit afraid of how I'll feel when it's all gone. Caring for Vern has been my life for the past 4+ years.

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