Thursday, October 21, 2010

Another Full Moon

Seeing the full moon on my way home from work tonight reminded me of my first night at home after Vern passed. It will be a month tomorrow ... but it feels like yesterday. More tears on the drive home as I missed him.
I'm still working. It keeps me so very busy that I don't have time to think about everything. I know that's just putting things off, but it feels like the right thing to do for now. I'm going to try digging into that file box the mortuary sent home with me. I hadn't thought much about all of the things I need to do, but learned today I should have filled out papers at work to take Vern off my insurance. I need to bring in a death certificate Monday to get that done, so figure I should try to do some of the other necessary paperwork while I'm at it.
Received a sympathy card from Cancer & Blood Specialists today, with some personal notes from the nurses. I was having some difficulty with not having closure with the medical professionals we've seen these past 4+ years. It hurt to think they just forgot Vern once he was gone, and yet I guess I could understand they might need to do that in order to keep doing what they do. But receiving this card today really touched my heart. Of course, I still think it would have been nice if Dr. Gollard had signed it, but he didn't. I thought that he and Vern had a real connection.
Jeremy called me at work today to share a special visit. The mailman we've had ever since we moved into this house back in 1983 retired last year. He and Vern often chatted and he would always ask me about Vern whenever he was hospitalized. He stopped by the house today to offer his condolences. Wow. There are some 'friends' who stopped visiting or calling and yet this man took the time to come over and let us know how sorry he was that Vern had passed. Guess that just demonstrates how very different people can be. I have no room in my life for anger or to harbor resentments toward those who just didn't have the time to let Vern know what he meant to them or to send a card or make a phone call. But it takes a real effort, I must admit.
Going to have a Mom & son day tomorrow. Someone gave Jeremy a pass to the Justin Timberlake golf tourney so I'm going to drop him off there while I do some shopping. He'll call me when he's ready to leave and then we plan to go to a movie and have dinner. We thought it would be a good thing for us to be together on the one month date, however, some think we're making a mistake with our choice of movies: "Hereafter". But it just feels right to both of us. Yes - I'll be bringing plenty of kleenex.

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