Word for the Year

I've never been very successful with my New Year resolutions; stopped doing them years ago. But earlier this year I selected a word for the year ... just one word to keep in mind as a sort of intention for the year. My word for 2012 was Brave ... and it really was a brave year for me. Perhaps not risky brave, but I did things that were hard for me, things that I had put off, things way outside my comfort zone. Here's my list:

• Emptied storage shed full of memories
• Went alone to a show at the Smith Center when a friend cancelled at the last moment
• Flew to Charleston, stayed at a B&B for first time, toured the city alone
• Drove from Charleston to Myrtle Beach for Camp Widow East
• Drove Vern's Mustang to San Diego for Camp Widow West
• Visited our special Crystal Pier (this one wasn't too successful, but at least I did it)
• Attended Brave Girl Camp!
• Went to Dr. Gollard's office
• Drove to Big Bear for a widow's retreat and ziplined while there
• Decorated my Christmas tree
• And today ... I finally cleared off Vern's side of the bed

The bed thing might take some explaining. I slept in Vern's hospital bed or his recliner out in the family room for 2 months after he died. And when I finally decided I could venture into our big king-size bed, I had to pile stuff up on his side in order to stay in there. Yep ... that stuff has stayed there for over 2 years.Tonight will be my first time sleeping in that big bed without something alongside me to hold on to. Now that's brave.

Think I need to add another bullet to my list:

• I've survived another year without my love

So I'm thinking my word for 2013 is going to be Believe. I do believe that next year will be a good one for me. I believe that I will finally get this house cleared out and create the space I need and deserve to live in. I believe that I will begin to eat healthy, start walking, lose weight, get more sleep. I believe that I will make a difference. That's a pretty good start, don't ya think?