Yes, I’m doing really well at work. I’m able to concentrate, to work hard, accomplish things, take on new projects, to talk and joke and laugh with co-workers. Hey - Dianne is back!
Well, THAT Dianne is back, the work Dianne … but the other Dianne - Vern’s wife, ummm, I guess I need to say widow - still has a ways to go.
I need to figure out who I am now, who I want to be, what I want to spend my time on - but I just don’t feel like putting a lot of effort into that just yet. I miss Vern and the life we had before cancer. And I even miss the life we had with cancer. I still need to wrap myself up in those memories awhile before I’m ready to try moving on to the next chapter.
This morning’s walk was the only time I got out this weekend. Shame on me for not enjoying the beautiful weather we had here. I feel good during the work week and that’s the only progress I need right now. The other things will come when I’m ready. I’ll say ‘yes’ to some things and ‘no’ to others and just let things happen as they feel right.
- I did the Pancreatic Cancer 5K Walk this morning and it felt good. I so enjoyed seeing my special friend all dolled up in her snazzy purple wig. What a beautiful soul she is.
- I’m doing the Cirque du Soleil 5K Walk at the Springs Preserve next Saturday. Should get some fun pictures at that.
- I’ve signed up for Camp Widow in San Diego this August. I debated about it for quite awhile, worrying that it’s going to be too much of a social event for me … that I’m too old to fit in with the other widows attending. But when chatting with a friend about it he just kept saying, “Dianne, you need to do it” to every negative thing I threw out there. And he reminded me that if the social part of the weekend doesn’t feel right, I don’t need to participate in that. Besides, I always have the option to just enjoy the beautiful city of San Diego. So I’ve registered, purchased my plane ticket and booked my hotel room.