Monday, July 22, 2013

"Vern! I'll never forget him!"

My heart was touched today ... by some very special things.

A dear friend who has dealt with chemo and radiation for breast cancer asked if I would go to the oncologist with her to get the results of her PET scan. Her husband couldn't get off work and she was worried about the results and facing them alone. She has been so very brave and this was absolutely where I needed to be (and my amazing boss had no problem with me coming into work late so I could do this). So R and I thought good, positive thoughts together as we waited for the doctor to come into the examine room.

Now you also need to know that my friend sees the very same oncologist that Vern saw for the 4+ years he battled cancer. Vern & Dr. G had a really special relationship ... sports ... USC ... Ohio State. Used to drive me nuts. I'd be anxious to get test results and they'd spend nearly the entire appointment time talking sports. I hadn't seen Dr. G since before Vern died and with the number of patients he sees I really didn't expect him to remember me after nearly 3 years. But Vern? Yeah ... I did have an expectation that he would be remembered.  So in walks Dr. G and he does his obligatory handshake and 'nice to see you' comment. I saw a flicker of recognition but then my friend asked him point-blank if he remembered me. Sweet man that he is, he said yes (but I didn't believe him ... I have changed quite a bit from those hard caregiving years), so I said "Ohio State" and held out my pendant that has Vern's photo on it. He said, "Vern! I'll never forget him!"  I responded, "me, too" and wrapped my hand around the pendant.  A really precious moment for me because it feels that no one but me (and Jeremy) remember my dear Vern these days.

And then Dr. G shared the wonderful news that my friend's PET scan did not show any metastatic cancer. Hallelujah!!  Two super special moments in just a few moments' time.

And  to top it all off, I received an email this afternoon saying my blog has been named a Top Widower Blog! How cool is that?  I really didn't think many were even reading it any longer, so this was a very nice surprise.  And I'm in excellent company ... I've met many of the other Top Widower Bloggers at Camp Widow.

One more thing ... today is the 22nd ... yep that ol' day of the month that my love left this earth.  Perhaps it was all meant to be. I used to hate the 22nds of each month. The reminder that time kept marching on, adding months to when I last held Vern. But today? Ah, but this 22nd feels mighty good. Good for my dear friend, good for my Vern and good for me, too. Vern's presence was all around me today.

So what are the take-aways from this day?  Well, this graphic kind of says it for me ....


Cathy Moore said...

Beautiful words! I love your blog and should comment more often. It is real and gives me insight into one of our greatest losses in this life. I can only imagine the strength and encouragement it gives to those experiencing this deep pain.

tccomments2013 said...

dear Dianne,

this post made my heart sing - I am so happy for all the meant-to-be-ness of this day, all the good news for your friend, Vern's doctor's wonderful comment, and your exciting blogger award. and I love the quote you posted -very inspiring to me as a navigate my first months after losing my darling hugh. thank you so much for sharing - I know it will help legions of people facing the worst pain they will ever experience.

love and light to you,

Karen TC (Sutherland)

Anonymous said...

Oh Dianne, please don't ever think that Vern has been forgotten. Two days ago, on line one of the other girls that was in my class, I had a conversation with her about how wonderful of a teacher he was. It is not just me that keeps him in their hearts. She was so very shy and she said that he always took the time to talk to her and smile, while most just walked on by. But then, as you know, he was That Kind of guy. Every month is hard and I know that the next 2 are always so reflective for you. Know that you and Vern are kept in my heart and prayers. How wonderful the Dr. talked of Vern. I mean really, who could have know him and forgotten him. He was so very special to all of us who he gave a small part of his life to. And thank you for always continuing to share your life with us.
Have a blessed day.

LVNative702 said...

You are such a loving friend, and my journey would not have been so "easy" without you!! Thank you for your patience and prayers and continuing to be such an inspiration for so many of us!!

Thank you for attending my "good news" appointment because I could not ask for better company.

In the loving spirit of your awesome husband -
xoxo Robbie