Vern was such a fabulous father, and on this day set aside to honor fathers, I'm recalling so many special times we had over the years. I know this day is very hard for my widow sisters with young children, children who did not have the opportunity to get to know their wonderful fathers. I hurt deeply for them.
But, honestly, I can assure you there is never a right time to lose someone you love. I was 59 and had 41 years with Vern when he died. Believe me ... it was not enough time. We had a lot of life left to live. So many plans and dreams for our future. And Jer deserved to be able to show Vern all that he will become ... will he marry? ... will there be grandchildren?
My parents are gone, so are Vern's ... oh my goodness ... I just looked at the dates and realized that Vern, Jer and I were each 33 years old when our Dads died. I wonder if that is meaningful ....?
I've been spending some time with introspection since my birthday last month. What is my purpose? What do I have to offer to this world? It feels like what I need to be doing at this point in my life. And along the way I've learned to appreciate those very long and difficult cancer years. Not only did they allow me to truly live our marriage vows, they showed me how strong I am ... because of Vern. I hate that he had to suffer so. I do not have the answer to that big question of 'WHY'? But I know that Vern does ... now ... and that is good enough for me until I join him.
"The truth is you and I
are in control of only two things, how we prepare for what might happen,
and how we respond to what just happened. The moment when things
actually do happen belongs to God." ... from "Produced by Faith" by DeVon Franklin