I've felt pretty 'giddy' these past couple of weeks as I've weeded out piles of stuff collected over the years and counted down the days. But today was a little bit hard. Felt weepy when I woke up, tears on the way into work. Decided to make a stop for coffee to get myself together before venturing into the office. And then I realized it wasn't leaving the organization I've worked for these past 29 years that had me tearing up. It was that Vern is not here to share this important milestone with me.
We had such wonderful plans for our retirement years ....
So I will move into this new chapter of my life ... without him by my side, but with him in my heart.
And I do have plans ... a trip to south Florida to share in the joyful marriage of an especially dear widow friend, soul care at a retreat in the Ozark Mountains, an art retreat in a fabulous old barn in Nebraska and an amazing retreat in Costa Rica.
I've accepted additional tasks in my volunteer role with Soaring Spirits that will keep me plenty busy, along with travel to our remaining 2015 Camp Widows in San Diego and Toronto.
I have several online art classes I've signed up for but not started ... I will get started now.
I have numerous books I've purchased that haven't been read ... I will read daily.
I have 30+ years of 'stuff' in this house that needs to be weeded out ... I will simplify.
I think I'm going to need to live to be at least 100 to accomplish all of this.
* * *
I don't like good-byes. I'm not especially comfortable in the spotlight and there are some other personal reasons involved that caused me to request no official office farewell. But I did receive many lovely emails, cards, gifts, phone calls, visits and hugs from my co-workers this week. My heart is full and it is good.Before leaving my office, I changed my voicemail message to one explaining I had retired and who to call now ... and ended with Mary Oliver's quote:
Think about that for yourself ... and do something to make it happen.
3 comments:
dear Dianne,
congratulations on your retirement! but I so understand the tears, the pain of thinking that your beloved Vern is not there to celebrate with and enjoy all the plans you two made for this milestone. i wish you comfort when it makes your heart hurt.
i wish you joy as you get to carry out the exciting plans you already have to look forward to. you have worked so hard, and come so far, and as you have shared your grief and loss, have helped legions of others to know they are not alone.
much love,
Karen ooxoo
Bittersweet for sure, but oh, so sweet for you.! Congratulations and may your years be full of many happy days!
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