2014 flew by quite quickly ... with some really good things that happened and some not-so-good. Just like each year, actually. For all of us. But we survive ... and we do our best to thrive in spite of all that life throws at us. I think I've done a pretty decent job of thriving.
I've learned so much during Vern's illness, death and these alone years that have built up my armor to protect me from any serious injuries due to hurtful words and actions. And that is what helped me find my Word for 2015. It's certainly not one I was initially comfortable with. But it kept coming to me as the one I was supposed to choose for this year. To be honest, my personal definition of JOY is not the same in my 'before' and 'after' since Vern died. But if I adjust the meaning of the word to this ...
... well then, that's something I can relate to. So JOY it is.
And since this year also brings my retirement, I'm thinking JOY just might be the perfect word.
I started writing this post in January but it got sidelined with all of the Camp Widow volunteer prep, so here I am now ... just two weeks away from my very last day of work. It feels good. It feels right. I'm ready to leave all of the experiences of these past 29 years of my work life at the doorstep of the Water District. I won't have to be 'that' Dianne any longer. And while I struggled with the loss of my 'Vern & Dianne' identity, this one is going to be pretty easy to let go. I feel good about all that I accomplished during those years and I'm now ready to start living the rest of my "one wild and precious life"!
5 comments:
You are so amazing!! Love you to the moon and back!! - Robbie
Ever so happy to meet you!!! I hopped over here after reading you on Widow Village. Presently, my job is what keeps me going; it is the weekends when I drown. It certainly helps to make a connection of the human spirit.
Lovelovelove,
Deborah
Deborah - My job kept me going, too, in the early years. And my weekends were spent secluded in my home, with no outside contact. But I think I needed to do that ... to re-energize so I could go back to the job each Monday while grieving. Give yourself time. Time doesn't necessarily heal, but it does soften the edges of our grief and you'll find yourself coming out of that cocooning stage a little at a time.
Dianne,
I love your word JOY, and the two images you posted! It is so true that we often have to choose joy...and at times that can be very hard, but well worth it. I am so happy to read of your retirement and all that you have to look forward to. I know you will always miss your Vern, but he will be with you, in so many ways, as you seek new adventures and continue to help other widows in their grief.
Dianne, I am so happy...dare I say joyful...for your coming retirement. you have helped so many of us through our grieving, sharing yours and your dear Vern's story, and now with volunteering for Camp Widow.
there is so much to look forward to with your new freedom and I wish you wonderful new experiences and much fulfillment and - yup - JOY!
much love,
Karen ooxoo
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