And with that said, I'm rather proud that I took some forward steps this week:
- I'm joining co-workers at The Melting Pot after work Wednesday (my first time there).
- I'm attending a former co-worker's annual chili party on Saturday.
- I bought a couple of "squares" for the Super Bowl from a co-worker to make it a bit more fun to watch the game. Was also invited to their big party, but the game falls on Vern's birthday and I'd prefer to have that day to myself, so I declined.
- I started a beginning yoga class last week and will be going there Tuesdays after work.
- I'm going on my first Red Rock canyon hike Feb. 5 with friends.
- I've vowed that this will be the last weekend I allow myself to "cocoon" the entire 3 days - and I may actually venture out today or tomorrow.
I still feel a need to visit the oncology office and dialysis center, but whenever I drive by either location I'm still overcome with emotions and memories. There were very few visits to either place when Vern felt well. And I'm a little afraid I might not get the responses I'm looking for - and that could send me backward in my healing. Perhaps this is something I'm just not going to be able to do. I've started to write personal notes to the special people who helped Vern & I navigate that horribly difficult cancer road, but I just haven't been able to express my feelings the way I want. Guess this task will just have to stay on my list for awhile.
"I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it." Maya Angelou